.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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