Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
