Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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