oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
