You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
