Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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