3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
