Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The air was thick with penises
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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