Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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