The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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