so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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