I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
