My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
