Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
