Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
