Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
