yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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