I can tuck mytits in my pants
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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