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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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