Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
