we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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