don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
