just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
