you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
