At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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