I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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