Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize