Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
