five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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