She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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