Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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