a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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