I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize