I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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