don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize