i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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