I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize