**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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