If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
