I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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