I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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