the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
