im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
