Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
