He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
smell my finger.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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