All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
