you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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