he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
