Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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