Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
