"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Damn victory sex feels great
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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