literally had 100 drinks last night.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
