I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
