I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize