So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
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You. Win. At. Life.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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