You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
