My Higher Power is John Stamos
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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