I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
