Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
