and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
