Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
