Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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