Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize